Slow Living Habits That Might Not Seem Slow at All

I always strive to share the "real" side of slow living with you. That means seeing beauty in the ordinary, noticing the glimmers and joys in everyday moments, and learning how to put it into practice in the not-so-perfect, everyday life - when you are busy, frantic, disorganised, with a tight knot in your stomach, chest, or, in my case, behind the left shoulder blade. Yes, my videos are pretty because I have a decent eye for filming, but if you have ever listened to or read me, you know I'm not asking you to just relax, bake bread, and everything will be better. Sorry, it won't. Surface-level relaxation techniques or wholesome hobbies can be lovely and enjoyable, but they are only beneficial if some work is put in at a deeper level.

Rosa, my daughter, and I have this weekend routine: I run her a bath, and while she's soaking, I deep clean everything else in the bathroom. We've been doing it for years (I'm actually realising it's probably the last moments of it, since she is already 7 and will soon want the bathroom to herself), and recently Rosa has been doing something new. She lay down in the water with a towel over her face, took a deep breath, and said things like "I'm so relaxed". The first time she did it, I burst out laughing. Our bathtub is quite small. She cannot even stretch out in it, so she was in a funny, contorted position, with toys floating around. I asked her: Are you really feeling relaxed right now? *

*A side note that I do think she felt relaxed, but not because of the towel and lying in the water, but because she is at home, with her mum, doing the same routine thing she has known and enjoyed for years, giving her a sense of safety, predictability and love.

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It was a super cute moment that I will remember forever, but I know exactly what happened there. She was performing relaxation based on what she saw in cartoons, movies, and online. And the same thing happens to many people who take slow living on a surface level. They watch short-form videos on Instagram and assume this must be it. Sourdough starter kit, linen dress or Wellington boots, done! This clashes quite badly with reality. Work, children, bills, maybe an unhappy relationship or passive-aggressive comments from someone who is supposed to be a friend. Yeah, that's life. I'm discussing this in depth in my upcoming (hopefully in June!) slow living book, but in short, practising slow living isn't all relaxation and pleasure. It actually requires a good dose of self-discipline, refusing instant gratification, and trusting that it will lead to better outcomes. That the hard days will become easier to get by, and happy moments arrive more often, since your internal radar is set to notice them.

Today, I thought I would share some of my habits and personal practices that might not seem in the spirit of slow living from a surface-level, aesthetic-driven point of view, but they made my life better.

I don't practice Yoga to feel relaxed.

One of the biggest misunderstandings about yoga is that it is supposed to make you feel relaxed in the moment.* I don't think anyone would use that adjective in the middle of an Ashtanga or lively Vinyasa class.

The asana practice (the physical practice on the mat) is only one of the eight limbs of yoga, and it is meant to prepare you for the hardships of life outside the mat. It's supposed to challenge you. Traditional Hatha yoga builds discipline, control, steadiness, and tolerance for discomfort.

If you can breathe through Warrior III with your leg shaking and every fibre of your being wanting to break the pose, you may also become better able to tolerate the annoying colleague or control your anger when it rises in the pit of your stomach. I’m not saying it’s a rule, but I do believe there’s a relationship between confronting your own limitations and feeling more confident, calm, and collected when life challenges you. Yoga helps you stay grounded when life gets chaotic.

*Yin and restorative yoga practices will definitely leave you relaxed, but they are relatively modern developments. Nothing wrong with that! I love Yin yoga and practice it often myself.

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I strive to be productive and disciplined.

Two words that got claimed by the ice bath bros, that absolutely belong in my slow life. I am highly productive. Almost every week, I film, take photos, create and update listings, produce a YouTube video, write a blog post, post multiple short-form pieces of content, answer emails, plan, research, organise, and so on, without an assistant. And I still have time to go for walks, read, practice yoga, clean, bake, write a whole book, and, above all, be mum. How? I stay productive and disciplined during my work time. I do my job with maximum focus, balancing quality and speed. I tick off tasks on my to-do list and move on to the next thing, so I can later close my laptop and enjoy a slow evening, get lost in a book, or watch a movie without the open tasks nagging me at the back of my mind.

I want to know less.

At least about topics that are not related to my life and interests. Genuinely, the pace at which information travels these days is frightening. Literally every day, there is something new to worry about. A virus on the ship, Bill Gates killing us with ticks, war, missing scientists, conspiracy theories that all of a sudden are not so crazy anymore… I do think that a person should have an understanding of the world and general political and socioeconomic knowledge, but no, I don't want to see photos from war zones or know how many people got injured in a plane crash on the other side of the world.

As a slow living and yoga practitioner, I need to be empathetic, but there are limits. I protect my peace of mind, not because I don't want to be bothered. I need it to function: raising children, running a business, and maintaining my own mental health

A few closing words

I could find many more examples in my everyday life of actions that, on the surface, don't look very "slow-living" but actually build a life that feels calm and in control. In my book, I dedicate a whole chapter to self-discipline and the art of discomfort, because that's what it takes to build a life that feels good in the long term. I know this really doesn't sound in line with the "frolicking in the fields wearing a linen dress" type of videos, but that's what actually earns you the cosy evening with a regulated nervous system. Slow living can be summarised by the Ant and Grasshopper story, where good but tough choices build not just during Winter but throughout a whole life, a sense of calm, safety and contentment.

Thank you for reading,
Adriana x