4 Reasons Slow Living Isn’t Working (Yet)

Over the years, I’ve received thousands of comments on my slow living blog and YouTube from women from all around the world, and I've noticed certain patterns recurring time and time again, no matter age or location.

I see so many women try to begin a slower life, but starting at the wrong end. They focus so much on external factors that they unintentionally turn their gaze away from the most important place: themselves and their inner world. Today, I want to share the four biggest obstacles I see holding people back from living more calmly and intentionally.

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I don't downplay the impact of the environment on your lifestyle, well-being, and possibilities. For good and for bad, it's one of the defining factors of your life. The country where you were born, how you were raised, your work environment, and the amount of responsibilities you carry on your shoulders - it all matters. But sometimes changing the outside factors is either hard, impossible or … not necessary.

The truth is that often the real obstacles to a slower, more intentional life lie within ourselves, and we have complete control over them. When we focus on our inner world, things that previously bothered us about our work or social circle often stop mattering. We begin viewing them from a different perspective. Observing, without absorbing.

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Yogic wisdom holds that in every difficult situation, you have three solutions. Remove yourself from it. Change it. Or accept it.

Add to it Epictetus's philosophy, who was born into slavery, faced many adversities in life, and came to the conclusion that we are the only ones who decide what is allowed into our minds. He didn't deny that others' words and actions can hurt us, but the goal is not to let them control us.

I consistently read complaints and comments that say a person cannot live a slow life because they have children or work... Wake up, girl. Yes, it's hard, but it's just normal life, not suffering. And it's exactly this victimhood mindset that brings you down the most.

Just to clarify, it's not about toxic positivity. I'm not saying it's all in your mindset (though it truly is a huge part) - just think positive thoughts, and your life will be perfect. No. Slow living requires work, self-discipline, and a refusal of instant gratification to achieve lasting rewards, such as peace of mind. Deep self-reflection and sometimes choosing the harder path are required, too.

If you think that the only way to live a slow life is to be unemployed, child-free and loaded, well, you're wrong. Slow Living is for anyone who wants to make the most of their days, even with work, kids, low income, chronic illness, or a busy lifestyle. In fact, I believe that the busier you are, the more you need to practice slow living to regain balance for your mental and physical well-being.

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Let's look at the four most common reasons I believe are holding you back from living a slower life, based on the thousands of comments I received over the years.

1. Self-induced stress and worry.

When it comes to worry, I am a true champion, so I'm talking here to myself, too. Nothing will ruin your inner peace like imagining the worst possible scenarios. 

But there is more. Rushing to do things for no reason, acting like everything is urgent, constantly repeating "I don't have time" like a mantra. Surely you don't, you literally tell it yourself all day, every day.

And lastly - overthinking. The endless search for hidden meaning, clues, and what-ifs. The simplest recipe to annihilate any trace of calm from your mind, in exchange for anxiety and stress.

Solution: Remember that your thoughts are not facts. Just because something feels urgent doesn't mean it is. The worst scenario happens, but so does the best case scenario - why not overthink that? Imagine spending an entire day worrying about something, only for the outcome to be… just ok. What a waste of your time and energy. As my mum often jokes, you can start worrying when something bad actually happens.

2. Planning and honeymoon phase.

I see it a lot, and I don't want you to fall victim to it. The honeymoon phase is when you plan something exciting, e.g., a new business or lifestyle change, such as trying to live at a slower pace. You read all about it, shop, e.g., art supplies or yoga mat, make big plans, follow some influencers from the niche… and that's it. 

You get instant gratification from the planning stage alone, which makes you feel really good - but when it comes to putting it into practice, you flake off. Sometimes you go for a week or two, but change is difficult, and old habits die hard. Putting things into practice isn't as fun or easy as you imagine. The feeling sucks, so… you start planning something new that will work out for sure this time…

Solution: stop romanticising every aspect of your idea and instead commit to sticking with it through thick and thin. From the beginning, understand that motivation will run out and difficulties will come, but you have to keep going if you really want the outcome.

That's exactly how it is with slow living. Cooking from scratch, analogue hobbies, and making an effort to go out into nature aren't as simple as they seem, especially if you spent the last decade on your sofa, with the phone glued to your hand. It takes dedication and willpower to turn your life around, but trust me, it will be worth it.

3. You are easily manipulated.

In a way, we all are. Propaganda is strong whether it's coming from the left, the right, the centre, or wherever people shout the loudest. We are repeatedly exposed to ideas and products that, over time, seep into our minds and become part of our worldview, whether we want them or not. The only weapon against it is awareness. 

I recently heard a sentence: "If you are easily offended, you are easily manipulated", and this really stuck with me. You might have the best intentions to calm your mind, live more slowly and meaningfully, but then you open your phone for a moment, see something that offends or upsets you, and there it goes. You turn into a keyboard warrior, arguing with people online, or just silently reading comments, raging inside at how stupid all these people are.

Furthermore, it's not just political or highly controversial stuff. It extends to trends in fashion, home decor, travel destinations, and practically every other aspect of life. If the ad manages to gently offend you, e.g., making you feel behind or less than, and their product offers an immediate solution, they got you. 

Solution: pause before reacting. Practice awareness - not everything deserves your time and energy. Turn off your phone and go make yourself a cup of tea. If the topic is really worth fighting for, research whether there are any official petitions you could sign, charities you could support, or any other truly helpful ways to get involved. 

When it comes to trends, establish a cooling period. Save items you want to purchase and come back to them in 3 days, a week, or maybe even a month for more expensive items. Do you still want them then? Do they feel like an absolute must-have? If the answer is yes, then that's great! You found something you'll cherish for a long time. But the chances are you forgot you even saved it.

4. Your grandma is right, it's the phone. 

An overwhelming number of my readers have commented that reducing phone use and the time they spend on social media and games has had the greatest impact on their lives on so many levels.

One, is that you all suddenly realise that you do have time. Two, you don't get to be exposed to new trends and seasonal must-haves all the time. Three, your mind is not filled with the noise, so you actually have space for your own thoughts. 

I’m not trying to escape the modern world - I use my phone to. I watch cute chihuahua videos and send memes to my husband. We are modern women who take advantage of technology. But there is a huge difference between a little scroll when you just want some light fun (it's ok, you don't have to be a high-performing individual 24/7), and getting sucked into an entire evening at a time.

Solution: Slow living is not a rejection of technology, but rather the intentional use of it. Limit how much time you allow yourself to scroll for leisure. Have a pile of books ready by your favourite scrolling spot, for when you feel too tired to engage in anything requiring much energy. Even getting up to pick a book might feel hard, so prepare it in advance. The book will be a good tradeoff, espcialy if you choose something light and genuinely interesting to you. Remember, your phone is there to serve you, not the other way round.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but the top 4 issues I notice in comments and emails, sometimes reading between the lines. The good news is that it can all be improved. By making small, meaningful choices every day, you are getting closer to building a calmer, happier life, one brick at a time.

I’m currently working on my book, which shares my experiences and lessons from 10 years of slow living. It should be ready sometime in the summer of 2026. I welcome you to join our weekly newsletter to be the first to hear when it’s ready - my email readers always get early updates.

Ready to begin your journey to a calmer, happier life?
Read 7 Realistic Steps to Start Slow Living Today

Thank you for reading. Let me know if any of the points are helpful.
Adriana x