Realistic Slow Living Habits for a Happier, Calmer Life

Many people like the idea of slow living and would love to give it a try, but they often feel intimidated by the idealised version of it. If you spend too much time scrolling, you might come to the conclusion that you can only live slowly if you wake up naturally to birdsong (no alarms or children asking if you’ve washed their PE kit), garden while wearing a linen dress that never gets dirty, own chickens that lay pastel-coloured eggs into handwoven baskets, spend evenings reading by candlelight and have a home that smells of freshly baked bread and moral superiority.

Of course, I’m joking, but you get the point. The internet is full of idealised videos of slow living that are so beautiful and picturesque they become a form of art… and should be treated as such! I personally follow several of these creators, as I find them charming, calming and inspiring. But it’s important to remember that even if you live in a cosy cottage hidden in the rolling hills of the English countryside and frolic through the meadows barefoot in linen dresses, the realities of life won't pass you by. 

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As enchanting as your life might be, you’re still going to pay council tax and rely on regular bin collections. You’ll be driving to town to do the shopping, get stuck in traffic, and no matter how magical your cottage is, your boss might still email you about that “quick thing” at 9 p.m. because even slow living comes with job.

The truth is, slow living is more about your mindset than your surroundings - the environment or aesthetics don’t matter that much.

Yes, living in a pretty setting surrounded by nature is a lovely thing, but if you’re not happy where you are right now, you won’t be happy anywhere else. According to scientists, we all have a “baseline happiness” - a kind of default level of contentment that’s influenced mostly by genetics and our daily thoughts and habits.

Baseline happiness is the emotional level you naturally return to after good (or bad) events. So even if you could magically teleport yourself to one of those Cotswolds cottages and spend your days baking bread, reading and strolling countyside, after a little while the novelty would wear off  and you’d go back to your usual level of happiness. 

Apparently, about 40% of our baseline happiness depends on our daily thoughts and habits. How fortunate that we can influence that 40% through slow living practices and mindset!

So, forget the aesthetics and outside factors for a moment - let’s look at the ways you can train, nurture and improve your daily habits in the spirit of slow living.

1. Stop Rushing

Kind of obvious - but not really. What I mean is your mindset when you’ve actually got things to do - when you need to catch the bus or have only a few hours left before a deadline and you feel that sense of urgency building up.

Breaking news: a sense of urgency doesn’t actually make you any faster, but it does set your nervous system on fire. You’re also more prone to mistakes and forgetting things.

Next time life presents you with a stressful situation, take a deep breath, name the steps you need to take to complete the task and work through them steadily - with dignity and calm.

2. Unclutter Your Life

Your home, your phone, your friends list. Keep your surroundings pleasant for the eyes and your circle good for the heart.

When it comes to a clutter-free home, it’s about more than just aesthetics. Even when you don’t notice something lying around, your brain still registers it. If your house is full of clutter - random things in random places - you’ll naturally feel more unsettled and mentally busy.

I’m not a minimalist (I love my candles, books and seasonal decorations!), but regular decluttering is important for our wellbeing.

The same goes for an extensive friend group. There’s nothing wrong with having lots of friends, but be mindful of how much time and energy you give to people. And yes, be a little bit calculated here - it’s okay to go the extra mile for a friend who would do the same for you, but don’t overextend yourself for people who don’t care as much.

3. Comparison Is the Thief of Joy (and Slow Living)

Comparing your life to others on the internet is the fastest - I repeat, the fastest - way to feel miserable and like a failure. That pretty girl half your age with perfect hair and a stunning home? Maybe she comes from money. Maybe she’s drowning in debt. Or maybe she’s doing well in her career and earning a lot. Each is equally possible.

The truth is, you know nothing about people just by watching their Instagram stories. And I promise you this - if you started posting your own life in an aesthetic way today, there would be people out there jealous of you too.

4. Done is Better than Perfect

Let go of perfectionism and settle for good. This applies to your slow living practice too. Don’t strive for the idealised version - instead, focus on small, realistic changes you can sustain over a long period of time.

When we chase perfection, we almost always fail and give up altogether. But when we allow ourselves to take small, steady steps, we end up getting much further and feeling happier along the way.

5. Be Grateful

I know gratitude has become a bit of a buzzword lately - it feels almost cliche, but it really works. The secret is not to just list the things you *should* feel grateful for, pat yourself on the shoulder and go on with your day. It’s that deep sense of feeling happy about something or someone you truly cherish - the feeling that keeps us rooted among the storms of life.

6. Treat the Internet Like Wine

The internet and social media are entertainment and should be treated as such. You’re having a glass of wine, not four bottles, right? Apply the same discipline to your phone usage.

Don’t start scrolling the first thing in the morning and don’t let yourself get sucked in for hours at a time. Be intentional about what kind of content you consume.

If you have a free moment and want to scroll a bit or send some silly memes to your husband - that’s perfectly fine (I do that too!). Enjoy the fun, but don’t let it steal entire evenings of your life or influence your mood, especially for the worse.

7. Don’t Try to Be Wholesome All the Time

Not every waking minute needs to be filled with wholesomeness and growth. Seriously, what a miserable life that would be. No one lives like that - it’s mentally impossible. You’d burn out faster than your morning toast.

Allow yourself time to relax in old leggings and enjoy your little guilty pleasures - whether it’s sour worms (guilty as charged!) or steamy romance books. You don’t just deserve a bit of silly entertainment, you actually need it. Humans can’t be focused and productive 24/7 (that’s probably why Elon Musk wants to replace us with robots, haha!).

A Few Closing Words

If this isn’t your first time on my blog, you probably know that my husband and I have spent the last few years saving money to buy (and partially renovate) our first home. We finally moved in this Summer and I truly love every brick in this house. But looking at the bigger picture of my life, I’d say my overall happiness hasn’t changed that much. That’s because I was honestly very happy in our old house, even though it was a dated rental that was too small for our family.

The truth is, I have two healthy children, a prospering business and an absolutely wonderful husband. Life in the new house is certainly more comfortable and to the list of good things in my life I can now add our home. But overall, I considered myself a happy person before the move... and I still do now.

Those years of practicing what I preach in this post have helped me go through life feeling content - not needing external things (like moving house, big work wins or fancy holidays) to lift my happiness. The problem with relying on those moments is that they only mask deeper feelings temporarily -  once the joy and novelty wear off, we always return to our baseline level of happiness.

So, if you want to keep nurturing - or even improving - your own happiness, slow down the chase and train your mind to notice the good around you. It’s the surest way to live a truly happy, peaceful life.

Adriana x