Make Social Media Feel Good Again

Do you remember the early days of Facebook and Instagram? I still remember my friend showing me the “Face-Book” page, explaining that it was supposed to connect you with people from your school. “It’s like a book of faces,” he explained. “You upload your profile picture, the town you live in and you can send friend requests and upload statuses for everyone to see”.

Next came Instagram and this is when I got really hooked. Those were the good old days, when posting what you had for dinner was perfectly normal and your feed was full of actual friends from real life.

Little did I know - when was it? Twenty years ago? - how much the world we knew would change. How much of our daily life would move online. Things like shopping, chatting with friends, entertainment - all available at the click of a finger.

For me, it’s even my work and my relationship with my dear mum, who decided to spend her retirement in Greece. My mum regularly sends me memes, particularly ones about Polish mums, lol! And work, of course - selling our candles online is the biggest blessing because neither Andrei nor I would sell much in person, haha! We’re not much of sales people in real life, which is why we never attend markets or events. Genuinely, online is the only way for us to make this business work.

Many of you are around my age (I’m 36), some younger, some older, but I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we feel an online fatigue. Particularly since the introduction of the FYP (For You Page) by TikTok, eagerly adopted by practically every social media app, the content gets faster, more intense and the scroll is endless. I’m just tired of having my senses and sanity attacked every time I open those tiny apps on my phone.

Millions of people are elbow-deep in their online world and unfortunately, that’s how their life will continue to be. But thankfully, millions of others are waking up. I know you are one of those people simply because you clicked on this post:) It tells me that - just like me - you realise this online world isn’t going anywhere, but you also feel that something has to change. For Zuck and the rest of the megaminds, the only goal is to keep us immersed in this online world as much as possible (even if they say otherwise). So, the only way to create some balance and make social media feel good again is through our own choices and actions.

Let’s look together at changes and choices you can make in everyday life to make social media feel good again (or at least a little bit better!)

1. Limit your online time
The most obvious point, so let’s start with it - don’t let yourself waste entire afternoons just scrolling. You become desensitised and your brain - numb. Write a short to-do list of things you want to do with your free time, even if it’s just relaxation. Remind yourself there are other things you could be doing besides scrolling. Things like “read X pages of a book”, practice yoga, go for a walk, have a bath, watch a particular movie or write. These are not actually tasks, but having a clear list in your mind will make it easier to pull yourself out of scrolling.

2. You don’t need to monetise every hobby
This is huge - it feels like so many people these days try to instantly monetise their hobbies and become influencers in their niche, at least to get freebies. You see it a lot in book, travel and fashion niches among many others... It sucks the joy out of whatever you’ve taken up. Instead of enjoying your hobby, you’re too focused on tagging companies and growing your account.

If you wish, use your IG page or YouTube channel as an online diary of your hobby - without expectations. Connect with other hobbyists in your niche and your online experience will feel much more wholesome.

3. You don’t need to become a pro at everything
This is similar to the point above. Take me as an example: some of you know I have a love-hate relationship with running. It’s good for me and has really changed my body for the better, but my gosh, it is torture. Twice a week.

A while ago, I found some motivation to improve, so I followed some running accounts. Upon a quick search on IG, I soon found myself following fit women regularly running ultramarathons in tiny shorts, with a different sports outfit for every day of the year. I quickly learned that if I wanted to progress in my running, I needed better shoes, a specific diet and of course, a membership for X.99 a month.

If you’re truly passionate, that’s great! Social media is packed with people who are genuinely brilliant at what they do and can teach us. But for the average Joe and Adriana, it’s impossible to be a pro at everything, even with all the knowledge available online - there just isn’t enough time and mental space. Being “just okay” at something is often good enough (like me and my mediocre - but still effective - running). If we take on too many things, we end up progressing in nothing.

4. Curate your algorithm
Although unfortunately we don’t have full control over what is shown on our social media, the truth is that these platforms want to keep you there for as long as possible by showing you content you engage with. So choose wisely what you interact with and if there are particular things you don’t like to see, block them or ask the app not to show you similar content again (usually you need to click on the three dots or a similar menu).

This way, at least the majority of what you see online will be things you’re actually interested in and enjoy. Also, by limiting your time online, you’re forcing the algorithm to curate the best stuff for you. The longer you spend online, the wider the pool of content becomes - and the more random stuff you’ll be shown.

5. Learn to recognise AI - and stop engaging with it as if it’s human

Ok, I know this point isn’t aimed at most of you, because I believe you can tell what’s AI and what’s not.

But sadly, a lot of people can’t... and honestly, it’s a bit scary. What is going on in the comments sometimes is just beyond me. People “oh-ing” and “ah-ing” over AI-generated images of places that don’t even exist or showering praise on the “beauty” of girls who are literally just pixels (and not even drawn by a human, like in cartoons or anime). How can someone who has spent 90% of their life in the pre-AI world not spot it? Yes, these images are getting better but most of the time you can still tell at first glance.

Then again… I remember people writing “Amen” under a picture of shrimp Jesus. So yeah, we can’t help everyone.

But if you can, take a little time to teach your mum or grandad how to spot AI content (and maybe not write “Amen” under shrimp Jesus). You’ll be making the internet a better place. If they want to learn more, there are also some great YouTube videos, like this one about spotting AI writing and AI images/videos

6. Post with intention, not obligation

Although the excitement of those early years of Instagram will never come back, posting on social media is my work. So, I’ve made an effort to understand what’s been putting me off so much - especially when it comes to IG. It’s really a topic for a stand-alone post, but in short, I realised that I really dislike IG Stories.

The pressure to… what? Show my life day after day? Stay “relevant”? Force people to watch my content with the threat that if they don’t, it’ll expire in 24 hours and they’ll never get to see it?

I’m one of those creators who prefers to post when they’re ready, rather than narrate as they go. Over the years, Stories became such a chore for me. I felt guilty for not being consistent, for not being “good” or “engaging” enough in them… until I finally decided I wasn’t going to post them anymore, for my own wellbeing.

These days, I mostly just repost my reels to Stories. I feel much happier showing up with content when I’m ready and actually have something to share, rather than forcing myself to post daily bits that I don’t really care to share... and my viewers don’t really care to see.

Although I can’t say I’ve found a new love for IG, I do somehow feel more inspired again to share things I genuinely enjoy with my followers there.

7. Remove, delete, mute...
... Anything or anyone who makes you feel like you’re not enough, spreads misinformation or simply doesn’t inspire or entertain you. You wouldn’t spend time with these people in real life, so don’t give them space in your online world either.

8. Don’t compare your normal to someone’s best

We all know social media, especially Instagram, is often just a highlight of someone’s life, but it’s so easy to forget... Even if creators are being truthful and tell us outright that these are just highlights from their life lately, we still tend to glamourise it, because, well, the grass is always greener...

This is your reminder that we all have bad days, get sick, have worries and sometimes life just sucks for everyone. People just don’t tend to share that part online for the whole world to see.

A few closing words

This blog is a summary of thoughts I’ve had brewing about social media for a while. The online world isn’t going anywhere, but the fatigue is real - hobbies instantly turning into side hustles, endless choices of what to watch or read and infinite feeds that steal hours from our lives. Many of us feel it’s time to change our habits and create a healthier balance between online and offline life and I hope this post gave you some ideas. I’d love to know if you’d add anything to the list.

Thank you for reading,
Adriana x